Seven Steps on How to Save a Relationship
Mike and Laura work long hours taking care of financial and domestic needs, the issue here is Mike works 12 to 18 hours a day just to keep up with his work load and Laura works the same amount of hours to take care of family requirements like feeding, clothing, and bathing the children. When the day comes to an end Mike and Laura have no time for each other, this is the example of their last 4 years, they both feel like there is no time for their needs. What do you think, is there a way they can meet both schedules to take care of each other’s needs and wants.
Let’s look at what it may take to save the Mike’s and Laura’s relationship. Ask yourself is it worth saving, the deal is when one person in a relationship wants out; it makes it hard to get cooperation from both parties to make a partnership thus having a relationship. It can still be done, but it makes the ultimate goal seem very impossible. When you find yourself in a marriage and only decide to stay in it, because of convenience or children, you get to ask, is it a good reason for me to be here. Remember it takes commitment from two people to get a relationship to work.
Take time to figure out what the problems were for the break up, this is something that most people fail at because they blame the symptoms never seeking the root of the problem of the problem. Let’s take an affair which is a symptom of lack of intimacy between two people. I have heard many people say the affair is what caused the divorce but in reality it was the lack of intimacy that brought the straying spouse to the affair. Generally if these issues are taken care of they become non issues then the marriage or relationship can be saved every time because the core of the problem has been found. Remember symptoms vs. problems; don’t blame the symptoms get to the problem.
You have now found the base of the symptoms and can start healing, this means to express your feels and listen to what your partner has to say very carefully, because this is where you bring up whatever get’s to be talked about. Sensitive things may be discussed here but remember that they are only brought up because your partner wants to reconnect and bring the relationship back.
You have now established the problems in your relationship and unless you want to fall back into the same rut, design a plan of action and make it work. Make time to date every week whether you live together or not, one week you get to plan the date, the next week your partner gets to plan the date. If you living in the same house hold promise each other to spend somewhere around 20 minutes talking and listening about feelings and other things that are going in their life, do this before going to bed it will be a great time to see your partner in another light. If you live in separate houses then it would work if you called each other on the phone or web cam doing the same thing, I promise you it will be very beneficial and you will learn what it will take to really be happy in the relationship.
Please during this process understand that it won’t be perfect, and rebuilding or repairing what was lost is a commitment of a life time, so be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Now open your eyes and see your new world so that you may decide ;).
Good luck
Mike and Laura work long hours taking care of financial and domestic needs, the issue here is Mike works 12 to 18 hours a day just to keep up with his work load and Laura works the same amount of hours to take care of family requirements like feeding, clothing, and bathing the children. When the day comes to an end Mike and Laura have no time for each other, this is the example of their last 4 years, they both feel like there is no time for their needs. What do you think, is there a way they can meet both schedules to take care of each other’s needs and wants.
Let’s look at what it may take to save the Mike’s and Laura’s relationship. Ask yourself is it worth saving, the deal is when one person in a relationship wants out; it makes it hard to get cooperation from both parties to make a partnership thus having a relationship. It can still be done, but it makes the ultimate goal seem very impossible. When you find yourself in a marriage and only decide to stay in it, because of convenience or children, you get to ask, is it a good reason for me to be here. Remember it takes commitment from two people to get a relationship to work.
Take time to figure out what the problems were for the break up, this is something that most people fail at because they blame the symptoms never seeking the root of the problem of the problem. Let’s take an affair which is a symptom of lack of intimacy between two people. I have heard many people say the affair is what caused the divorce but in reality it was the lack of intimacy that brought the straying spouse to the affair. Generally if these issues are taken care of they become non issues then the marriage or relationship can be saved every time because the core of the problem has been found. Remember symptoms vs. problems; don’t blame the symptoms get to the problem.
You have now found the base of the symptoms and can start healing, this means to express your feels and listen to what your partner has to say very carefully, because this is where you bring up whatever get’s to be talked about. Sensitive things may be discussed here but remember that they are only brought up because your partner wants to reconnect and bring the relationship back.
You have now established the problems in your relationship and unless you want to fall back into the same rut, design a plan of action and make it work. Make time to date every week whether you live together or not, one week you get to plan the date, the next week your partner gets to plan the date. If you living in the same house hold promise each other to spend somewhere around 20 minutes talking and listening about feelings and other things that are going in their life, do this before going to bed it will be a great time to see your partner in another light. If you live in separate houses then it would work if you called each other on the phone or web cam doing the same thing, I promise you it will be very beneficial and you will learn what it will take to really be happy in the relationship.
Please during this process understand that it won’t be perfect, and rebuilding or repairing what was lost is a commitment of a life time, so be quick to apologize and slow to blame.
Now open your eyes and see your new world so that you may decide ;).
Good luck
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